• Skip to primary navigation
  • Skip to main content
  • Skip to primary sidebar

Troubled Teens

  • Home
  • Submit Questions
  • Contact Us
  • Sitemap
    • Disclaimer
    • Privacy Policy

Behavior & Emotions

Teen Shoplifting

Last updated on June 16, 2017 by TT Staff Leave a Comment

teen girl shoppingShoplifting is one of the most common crimes in America, and it is an activity in which many troubled teens engage. According to the National Learning and Resource Center, there are over 27 million shoplifters in America, meaning that approximately 1 in 11 people is guilty of shoplifting. The National Learning and Resource Center also reports that over half of adult shoplifters claim to have started the habit in their teens, so if you suspect that your teen could be shoplifting, it’s important to end the practice now to prevent it from carrying over into their adult life. Below you will find three of the most important basic facts about teen shoplifting:

1. Your teen could be guilty.

Studies indicate that shoplifting affects a very wide segment of society. Men are just as likely to shoplift as women, and rich teens shoplift just like their poorer peers. Research suggests that shoplifters are usually unlikely to engage in other types of illegal behavior, which means that your seemingly well-behaved and communicative teen could be shoplifting when he or she leaves the house to spend time with friends. Therefore, it’s important to talk to your son or daughter about the consequences of shoplifting, regardless of whether or not you suspect that they’re actually guilty of the crime.

2. Teens usually shoplift for silly reasons…

The reasoning behind teen shoplifting is generally very simple: They wanted the item. Often, teens steal from stores because they want to own something which they cannot afford, and this is sometimes related to the desire to fit in with current trends at their school. Some teens shoplift because of peer pressure; their friends engage in the practice, so they feel as if they should do so as well. Other teens shoplift strictly for the rush. The thrill of getting away with stealing something provides a high that many shoplifters eventually learn to crave. Many people claim, in fact, that shoplifting is equally as addictive as some drugs.

3. …But some teens shoplift for more serious reasons.

Although most teens shoplift because they want new possessions or because they like the feeling of being rebellious, some teens shoplift because of serious underlying problems. One possibility, although rare, is kleptomania, a disorder in which a person cannot resist the urge to steal. Kleptomania is usually characterized by its apparent randomness, with kleptomaniacs many times stealing things that are completely useless to them and are often even discarded after the theft has taken place. Because kleptomania is a serious condition, it should be treated by professionals.

Another possible motivator for teen shoplifting is a drug habit. Some teens shoplift on a regular basis in order to obtain the means to support their drug habit. Especially if the teen is unemployed or if they are using a particularly expensive drug (such as cocaine), shoplifting may be the only means by which they can finance their drug use. If your son or daughter has been caught shoplifting and they are also exhibiting some of the symptoms of teen drug use, then you should seek help from a professional immediately.

If you discover that your teen has been shoplifting, it is important that you confront him or her with calm emotions and a level head. Although you may feel angry, betrayed, or blindsided, especially if your teen is one of the many teens who are otherwise very well-behaved, becoming worked up is certainly not the best course of action. Your teen is probably shoplifting for a simple reason, but there could be a surprising underlying cause that is much more serious than the act of shoplifting itself. Therefore, before rushing to conclusions and harsh punishments, you should have a serious discussion with your son or daughter to determine the reasons behind their actions.

Filed Under: Behavior & Emotions

Is Scripture Irrelevant to Contemporary Teens?

Last updated on June 15, 2017 by TT Staff Leave a Comment

boy holding bibleAccording to Solomon, there’s “nothing new under the sun.” (Ecclesiastes 1:9). But that was thousands of years ago. What about our own modern world, with its constantly outdated clothing styles and technology?

It’s easy to think that our own struggles and sinful pressures are unique — if not to us personally, at least to our generation. That’s a dangerous trap, especially for teens. The worst possible outcome is that they can see Scripture as irrelevant to their own lives.

Now, I’m not encouraging a dishonest, pop-culture remake of the Bible; instead, I’d like to encourage an honest look at the sugar-coated flannel graph or animated version often portrayed to our kids.

class at churchTMI

Yes, there can be too much information, or too much, too soon. While biblical accounts of sexual sin and morbid violence are inappropriate for small children, it’s probably best to wait to introduce them when kids are older than to retell them beyond recognition.

For instance, the Veggie Tales version of King David’s sin with Bathsheba has him coveting someone else’s rubber ducky — a not-so-subtle but admittedly age-appropriate and entertaining bow to Bathsheba’s public bathing. While the reworked story addresses some of the sin issues involved, I’m afraid it might not give the proper respect to the true story — or the reality of timeless sexual temptation.

In addition to David’s adultery, sensitive issues are addressed in accounts such as Noah’s drunkenness and nudity (Genesis 9), Judah’s incest (Genesis 38), and mass infanticides (Exodus 1, Matthew 2).

FYI

young girl by tree reading bibleFor your information, even a cursory reading of the Scripture passages above makes it clear that the atrocities of infidelity and abortion are not unique to our society. Yet we hear so many complain of today’s rampant immorality — and the related temptations — as being unique.

Clearly, it was far worse in Noah’s society, in which “the wickedness of man was great in the earth, and every intention of the thoughts of his heart was only evil continually” (Genesis 6:5). And there was only one exception: Noah (Genesis 6:8, 9).

While those dedicated to God and His Word may not be in the majority today, there’s certainly more than just one family standing against the ungodliness in our culture and for Christian principles.

family in front of churchIMO

In my opinion, we’re better off than those in earlier generations. Sure, we have more access to sinful temptations; but I think that modern mobility and technology allow for many benefits as well, more than balancing out those increased opportunities for sin.

In addition to the benefit of many fellow believers in countless local churches and other Christian organizations that can help us, we have an abundance of resources at our fingertips. From Christian music to Bible study tools, modern technology and communication provide countless possibilities for biblical instruction and edification.

We also have the completed canon of Scripture — something Noah and David and even John and Paul did not have at their disposal.

Instead of letting ignorance of Bible accounts give our young people an excuse to give in to temptation, we need to remind them of their responsibility before God (2 Timothy 2:22, Ecclesiastes 12:1).

Filed Under: Addictions, Behavior & Emotions

Combating Teen Obesity

Last updated on June 9, 2017 by TT Staff Leave a Comment

While eating disorders such as anorexia and bulimia get plenty of attention, obesity among teens is a serious problem, as well. In fact, according to a 2009 study, obese teens have the same likelihood of dying by their mid-50s as heavy smokers who smoke more than 10 cigarettes per day. For overweight, but not obese, teens, the risk is the same as light smokers who smoke 1 to 10 cigarettes each day. Even the same parents of teens who would certainly be concerned if their teen were smoking a pack a day often shrug their shoulders at a high BMI.

Underlying Emotional Problems

Just like smoking and eating disorders, teen obesity can often tip parents off to underlying personal issues. Not only does obesity lead to a lower life expectancy, but it can be symptomatic of a lower quality of life that comes from replacing healthy coping mechanisms and relationship skills with emotional eating. In addition, obesity in teens can be a symptom of deeper problems: 75% of overeating is emotional. So-called “comfort foods” are called that for a reason: Many people turn to food when they’re faced with difficult emotions such as anxiety, depression, boredom, loneliness, anger, or poor self-esteem.

Helping Your Obese Teen

In addition to counseling and discussions to help discern whether emotional eating is a culprit in your teen’s obesity problem, you can help your teen overcome obesity by promoting healthy habits such as nutritious eating and regular exercise.

Encouraging Nutritious Meals

If you’ve ever watched Extreme Makeover: Weight Loss Edition, you know that a supportive home atmosphere is key to a successful lifestyle change that promotes a person’s journey to a healthy weight. When your child is the person in question, you can start by increasing the number of meals you eat as a family. While healthier meals utilize whole foods that take more planning and time to prepare, you can use the extra time to bond with your teen by involving him or her in grocery shopping and the meal prep process.

Making Physical Activities Attractive

Of course, healthy eating habits are only part of the equation. Today’s children and teens are similar to today’s adults in that they typically have a sedentary lifestyle. All our gadgets and conveniences seem to encourage sitting for long periods of time. As a parent, you can help your teen get much-needed exercise by promoting athletic involvement, providing opportunities for active recreation, and encouraging an active social life that isn’t limited to texting or social networking. A fringe benefit of exercising is that it increases the endorphins that the body produces, helping your teen eliminate some of the negative emotions that may have led to obesity, to begin with.

Filed Under: Behavior & Emotions, Sports & Health

What’s Your Excuse? Don’t Pretend, Be Real

Last updated on June 2, 2017 by TT Staff Leave a Comment

thumbs up girlYou’ve probably seen a T-shirt that says something like “I’m a blonde Polack. What’s your excuse?” The fact is that we all have our excuses for being imperfect — but when they’re ours, we see them as valid reasons, not lame excuses.

As we mentor or parent teens, it’s important for us to recognize and address our own failings, instead of excusing them. Not only will such honesty benefit our own lives, but it will go a long way toward helping us connect with and impact the lives of teens. How so? I’m glad you asked.

Being Real

While it might be more comfortable to pretend we’ve got it all together, it’s simply not true. When we try to put up facades, we live in fear of the mask being cracked or otherwise compromised. Instead, God’s Word encourages humble honesty — both before God and others.

Even though a Pharisee-like pretense of perfection may seem like the norm in some church circles, it isn’t what God desires. Romans 3:23 makes it clear that all of us fall short of meeting God’s standards; combined with passages like James 5:16 and Proverbs 28:13, that concept precludes us from pretending to be perfect.

In some church circles, people can even feel pressured to pretend temptations don’t appeal to them, and such pretense can cause unfathomable damage.

compassionShowing Empathy

In addition to living transparently before others, being real about our own sinfulness can also help us show empathy with the teens whose lives God allows us to touch. This is a big reason Christ came as Emmanuel, to live as a human being.

Hebrews 4:15 reminds us that Christ isn’t beyond being able “to sympathize with our weaknesses”; instead, He was “in every respect … tempted as we are, yet without sin.” While some Bible scholars differ in exactly what that assertion means, the basic point is clear: Jesus understands us and truly feels our pain. What a Savior!

Instead of angrily pointing His finger at us sinners, rightfully accusing us, it’s as if Christ is putting his arm around us in solidarity, gently whispering, “I understand. It’s hard, isn’t it?” What a model for our own discipleship and counseling ministries!

Giving Grace

forgivingWhen we’re willing to be real and show empathy, we’re poised to both receive and give grace. That posture is humility. James 4:6 and Hebrews 4:16 are among the passages that directly link humility and grace. If we were perfect, we would not need grace. Since we’re clearly far from where we should be, we need it. But if we don’t admit we need it, we can’t receive it.

The same is true for teens: As they realize and admit their failures and sinfulness, they poise themselves to receive healing and forgiveness. The contrast is also true: when teens excuse and attempt to hide their imperfections, they resist the treatment that they need.

Instead of encouraging others to pretend, we can serve others best by being real, showing empathy, and giving grace.

Filed Under: Behavior & Emotions

Infusing Timeless Values into Today’s Teens

Last updated on May 26, 2017 by TT Staff Leave a Comment

teen girl with tabletThe options available to today’s teens can be both exciting and overwhelming. Instead of going into a rampage on how thankful they should be and what things were like “when I was your age,” parents, teachers, and other mentor adults do well to help educate teens about what’s really important in life and how to manage the increasingly complex world in which they live. Without learning to leverage the possibilities for their greatest advantage, the resources available at their fingertips may do more harm, than good.

Just Because It’s the Latest, Doesn’t Mean It’s the Greatest

While the older generation can be guilty of seeing their own ways of doing things as superior to “new-fangled things” available today, young people need to learn that what is new is not always what is best. This goes for everything from clothing to food options and even technology. As a response to the combination of our recent economic downturn, environmental concerns, and newly discovered health risks, many Americans are opting to forego new manufactured goods as well as highly processed foods. The trend-enslaved mindset of “I have to have it” can eclipse more than common sense; it can lead to a general discontentment and lack of satisfaction with the good things life offers.

young girl watching video on phoneSome Things in Life are Irreplaceable

The price of last year’s new technology or must-have Christmas gift is a lesson in how the valuation of an object can certainly fluctuate. While constant technology upgrades may make simpler tools like record players, slide rules, and wrist watches virtually obsolete, some things will always be worthless, while others are priceless treasures. Intangibles like well-worn friendships, integrity, and family ties are not worth sacrificing for temporal pleasures or achievements. If that great date to the prom will make an enemy of a childhood friend, it won’t be worth it. If having that new phone will mean stealing from your sister, then it’s just not an option. If the only way to make the honor roll is to cheat on a test, it’s not worth the trade-off.

Not All Opinions or Resources Are Created Equal

mom and daughter looking through magazineWhile teens may get a glimpse of this kind of thinking in language arts classes, they need to know that it applies to more than academic writing. Whether they hear something from a friend, see it on TV or even YouTube, or read it on the Internet, they need to learn to critically evaluate the sources of supposed “information” and compare and contrast their determinations with well-respected sources. They need to learn to understand how our own experiences and predispositions color our own judgments and those of others and to argue well-reasoned ideas clearly and respectfully.

As we create opportunities to discuss these and other time-tested values, we need to make sure teens understand that these aren’t standards that belong to only one generation or culture, but facets of a fulfilling life that transcends time, culture, and even technology.

Image credits: Top by Edyta Pawlowska/Fotolia; Middle by manaemedia/Fotolia; Bottom by Subbotina Anna/Fotolia

Filed Under: Behavior & Emotions, Entertainment

  • Go to page 1
  • Go to page 2
  • Go to page 3
  • Interim pages omitted …
  • Go to page 12
  • Go to Next Page »

Primary Sidebar

Struggling with Your Teen?

Have a question about something you're facing with your teenage son or daughter? Ask us! Just click here and share your question.

Boarding School Reviews

Get your boarding school or youth residential treatment program reviewed here. Looking for a marketing agency? Contact us.

Popular Posts

  • Causes of Sexual Promiscuity in Teens
  • Controversy Surrounds "Bully" Movie
  • The Risks of Sexual Promiscuity in Teens
  • Signs and Symptoms of Huffing
  • Teens and Rape Victim Blame

Recent Articles

  • Teen Shoplifting
  • Is Scripture Irrelevant to Contemporary Teens?
  • Fostering Academic Success at Home: Structuring Study Schedules and Spaces, Part 2
  • Underage Drinking: More of a Problem Than You May Think
  • Communication Overload
  • Combating Teen Obesity
  • What Technology Reveals About Today’s Teens, Part 2
  • What’s Your Excuse? Don’t Pretend, Be Real
  • Why “Fifty Shades” Is Dangerous (For You and Your Teen)
  • Parents: Look to Hollywood Movies for Parenting Tips

Reader Feedback

  • Tara on Causes of Sexual Promiscuity in Teens
  • TNH on Causes of Sexual Promiscuity in Teens
  • Sharaaz Khan on Causes of Sexual Promiscuity in Teens
  • Dionne Duarte on Causes of Sexual Promiscuity in Teens
  • Clarice A. on Teen Bedwetting
  • Margaret Campbell on Causes of Sexual Promiscuity in Teens
  • Elizabeth on The Sexting Problem
  • Lisa Arquette on Handling Hard Questions: Having Empathy for the Ache
  • L. C. H. on 3 Reminders for Dealing with Rebellious Teens
  • Peter D'Angelo on Which Kids Stay in the Church?

Copyright © 2023 TroubledTeens.biz · All Rights Reserved