Entertainment

It’s pretty clear that like generations that have gone before them, today’s teens have a thirst for social interaction. They’re often using gadgets to fulfill that desire, but it’s insatiable (see Part 1). They can become addicted and are sometimes undiscriminating in what they post or text. They need guidance from mature mentors, to be sure. But there’s something they even more desperately need.

Needing God

The goal can’t be to “convert them” to the ways of previous generations or our own preferences, but to be part of their own world and utilize the resources God has given them in a set apart way. In a way that honors Him, leaves room for Him.

There’s something more important underneath all the constant texting and listening to playlists; sometimes misguided Facebook, Instagram, or YouTube posts or comments; and even eye-rolling or outbursts when tech-free time is imposed. Perhaps there’s a silence or loneliness your teen doesn’t want to feel. Questions they don’t want to face.

Only when thumbs are still and music is quiet can we hear God (Psalm 46:10). Only when we set aside all our manmade devices can we see His Creation (Psalm 19:1). And only when we stop to consider His greatness will we be drawn to praise Him (Psalm 77:12).

At that point, we will realize our need to make less of ourselves and more of Him (John 3:30) and even begin to understand devotion like that of John or Paul in the Bible, no less attempt to mimic it ourselves (Philippians. 1:21).

Needing Privacy

On a positive note, research indicates that teens do report various types of purposeful online interactions. Each person’s experience with social networking is different, but most have had positive interactions and grown to feel closer to others through it. However, others have seen negative effects of posts or comments that they’ve made.

Unlike the seeming disconnect between online personas and real-life reputations that the pioneers of online socializing thought was there, many of today’s teens understand that their online behavior counts. As a result, though, many have learned how to hide information from some people, namely Mom and Dad. Some even have separate Facebook accounts for interacting with family versus friends.

When we have meaningful communication with our Lord, we won’t hide. Or need to. We’ll invite God into all corners of our world — online and otherwise — desiring His presence and evaluation (Psalm 139). That might not mean today’s teens want all their social interactions seen by Mom and Dad, just like you didn’t want your diary read, but still.

In the end, even our idyllic memories of shared lemonade on the front porch don’t measure up. When teens understand their deepest need and most gratifying relationship are met in God and Christ, they’ll be different from others in their generation (Romans 12:2). The thing is, so will we.

Today’s kids and teens are different than any generation of young people that have gone before them, right? Some sort of generational Narcissism may accompany any age group, but it seems especially prevalent today. At least to older generations. On that note, many have documented the widening generation gaps, citing technology as the driving force. Behind their high-tech M.O.’s, however, the Millennials are much the same as generations that have gone before them.

Needing Community

Sure, the concept of online social networking was virtually foreign to previous generations of teens, but the impetus behind it wasn’t. Long gone may be the days of neighbors visiting on front porches over lemonade, but how many of us became “grounded from the phone” for tying up the land line for too long, or making expensive long-distance calls to friends who’d moved away? Well, today’s teens don’t have those kinds of limits. With unlimited calling and texting plans, we have no practical need to limit their online activity — so many of us don’t.

Even among our memories of hours spent “shooting the breeze” with neighbors or chatting on the phone about the latest who’s-with-whom, we can look cross-eyed at Millennials whose thumbs are going 240 mph about nothing in particular. However, when we remember that like us, they were created in God’s image as social beings, we can have empathy with them. Perhaps they are addicted or obsessed in their relationship to technology or the self-esteem they gain from “likes” on their “selfies” or texts agreeing with their case against authority. In that case, they also need some guidance.

Needing Direction

Undoubtedly, teens need mature guidance regarding their online interactions. Once you show empathy with their motivations — for social interaction, affirmation, and more — you can begin to help them use the tools uniquely available to their generation of teens in responsible, productive ways. Regardless of technology’s part in the equation, it’s mainly a vehicle or outlet, expressing what’s already in your teenager’s heart. If she were born a decade or more earlier, her private thoughts may have been hidden away in a diary, under lock and key. Instead, they’re right out there on Facebook.

While she might need some guidance in reputation management and filtering, you can be thankful to see what flows from the abundance of her heart. If constant access means continual interaction with unedifying peers, perhaps you can make yourself available online, as well, and suggest wholesome websites and blogs to follow and online communities to join. You can also help your teen’s social development by imposing and encourage face-to-face times and technology-free activities to help your teen learn valuable social skills and the closer interactions that often come from them. But there’s an even more important need in the heart of your teen. We’ll discuss it in Part 2.