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What Technology Reveals About Today’s Teens, Part 2

Last updated on June 5, 2017 by TT Staff Leave a Comment

listening to musicIt’s pretty clear that like generations that have gone before them, today’s teens have a thirst for social interaction. They’re often using gadgets to fulfill that desire, but it’s insatiable (see Part 1). They can become addicted and are sometimes undiscriminating in what they post or text. They need guidance from mature mentors, to be sure. But there’s something they even more desperately need.

Needing God

The goal can’t be to “convert them” to the ways of previous generations or our own preferences, but to be part of their own world and utilize the resources God has given them in a set apart way. In a way that honors Him, leaves room for Him.

There’s something more important underneath all the constant texting and listening to playlists; sometimes misguided Facebook, Instagram, or YouTube posts or comments; and even eye-rolling or outbursts when tech-free time is imposed. Perhaps there’s a silence or loneliness your teen doesn’t want to feel. Questions they don’t want to face.

Only when thumbs are still and music is quiet can we hear God (Psalm 46:10). Only when we set aside all our manmade devices can we see His Creation (Psalm 19:1). And only when we stop to consider His greatness will we be drawn to praise Him (Psalm 77:12).

At that point, we will realize our need to make less of ourselves and more of Him (John 3:30) and even begin to understand devotion like that of John or Paul in the Bible, no less attempt to mimic it ourselves (Philippians. 1:21).

breakfast textingNeeding Privacy

On a positive note, research indicates that teens do report various types of purposeful online interactions. Each person’s experience with social networking is different, but most have had positive interactions and grown to feel closer to others through it. However, others have seen negative effects of posts or comments that they’ve made.

Unlike the seeming disconnect between online personas and real-life reputations that the pioneers of online socializing thought was there, many of today’s teens understand that their online behavior counts. As a result, though, many have learned how to hide information from some people, namely Mom and Dad. Some even have separate Facebook accounts for interacting with family versus friends.

When we have meaningful communication with our Lord, we won’t hide. Or need to. We’ll invite God into all corners of our world — online and otherwise — desiring His presence and evaluation (Psalm 139). That might not mean today’s teens want all their social interactions seen by Mom and Dad, just like you didn’t want your diary read, but still.

In the end, even our idyllic memories of shared lemonade on the front porch don’t measure up. When teens understand their deepest need and most gratifying relationship are met in God and Christ, they’ll be different from others in their generation (Romans 12:2). The thing is, so will we.

Filed Under: Addictions, Communication, Entertainment

Infusing Timeless Values into Today’s Teens

Last updated on May 26, 2017 by TT Staff Leave a Comment

teen girl with tabletThe options available to today’s teens can be both exciting and overwhelming. Instead of going into a rampage on how thankful they should be and what things were like “when I was your age,” parents, teachers, and other mentor adults do well to help educate teens about what’s really important in life and how to manage the increasingly complex world in which they live. Without learning to leverage the possibilities for their greatest advantage, the resources available at their fingertips may do more harm, than good.

Just Because It’s the Latest, Doesn’t Mean It’s the Greatest

While the older generation can be guilty of seeing their own ways of doing things as superior to “new-fangled things” available today, young people need to learn that what is new is not always what is best. This goes for everything from clothing to food options and even technology. As a response to the combination of our recent economic downturn, environmental concerns, and newly discovered health risks, many Americans are opting to forego new manufactured goods as well as highly processed foods. The trend-enslaved mindset of “I have to have it” can eclipse more than common sense; it can lead to a general discontentment and lack of satisfaction with the good things life offers.

young girl watching video on phoneSome Things in Life are Irreplaceable

The price of last year’s new technology or must-have Christmas gift is a lesson in how the valuation of an object can certainly fluctuate. While constant technology upgrades may make simpler tools like record players, slide rules, and wrist watches virtually obsolete, some things will always be worthless, while others are priceless treasures. Intangibles like well-worn friendships, integrity, and family ties are not worth sacrificing for temporal pleasures or achievements. If that great date to the prom will make an enemy of a childhood friend, it won’t be worth it. If having that new phone will mean stealing from your sister, then it’s just not an option. If the only way to make the honor roll is to cheat on a test, it’s not worth the trade-off.

Not All Opinions or Resources Are Created Equal

mom and daughter looking through magazineWhile teens may get a glimpse of this kind of thinking in language arts classes, they need to know that it applies to more than academic writing. Whether they hear something from a friend, see it on TV or even YouTube, or read it on the Internet, they need to learn to critically evaluate the sources of supposed “information” and compare and contrast their determinations with well-respected sources. They need to learn to understand how our own experiences and predispositions color our own judgments and those of others and to argue well-reasoned ideas clearly and respectfully.

As we create opportunities to discuss these and other time-tested values, we need to make sure teens understand that these aren’t standards that belong to only one generation or culture, but facets of a fulfilling life that transcends time, culture, and even technology.

Image credits: Top by Edyta Pawlowska/Fotolia; Middle by manaemedia/Fotolia; Bottom by Subbotina Anna/Fotolia

Filed Under: Behavior & Emotions, Entertainment

What Technology Reveals About Today’s Teens, Part 1

Last updated on May 11, 2017 by TT Staff Leave a Comment

teen girl facebookingToday’s kids and teens are different than any generation of young people that have gone before them, right? Some sort of generational Narcissism may accompany any age group, but it seems especially prevalent today. At least to older generations. On that note, many have documented the widening generation gaps, citing technology as the driving force. Behind their high-tech M.O.’s, however, the Millennials are much the same as generations that have gone before them.

Needing Community

Sure, the concept of online social networking was virtually foreign to previous generations of teens, but the impetus behind it wasn’t. Long gone may be the days of neighbors visiting on front porches over lemonade, but how many of us became “grounded from the phone” for tying up the land line for too long, or making expensive long-distance calls to friends who’d moved away? Well, today’s teens don’t have those kinds of limits. With unlimited calling and texting plans, we have no practical need to limit their online activity — so many of us don’t.

Even among our memories of hours spent “shooting the breeze” with neighbors or chatting on the phone about the latest who’s-with-whom, we can look cross-eyed at Millennials whose thumbs are going 240 mph about nothing in particular. However, when we remember that like us, they were created in God’s image as social beings, we can have empathy with them. Perhaps they are addicted or obsessed in their relationship to technology or the self-esteem they gain from “likes” on their “selfies” or texts agreeing with their case against authority. In that case, they also need some guidance.

texting addictionNeeding Direction

Undoubtedly, teens need mature guidance regarding their online interactions. Once you show empathy with their motivations — for social interaction, affirmation, and more — you can begin to help them use the tools uniquely available to their generation of teens in responsible, productive ways. Regardless of technology’s part in the equation, it’s mainly a vehicle or outlet, expressing what’s already in your teenager’s heart. If she were born a decade or more earlier, her private thoughts may have been hidden away in a diary, under lock and key. Instead, they’re right out there on Facebook.

While she might need some guidance in reputation management and filtering, you can be thankful to see what flows from the abundance of her heart. If constant access means continual interaction with unedifying peers, perhaps you can make yourself available online, as well, and suggest wholesome websites and blogs to follow and online communities to join. You can also help your teen’s social development by imposing and encourage face-to-face times and technology-free activities to help your teen learn valuable social skills and the closer interactions that often come from them. But there’s an even more important need in the heart of your teen. We’ll discuss it in Part 2.

Filed Under: Addictions, Communication, Entertainment

Social Networking: In Person

Last updated on January 31, 2017 by TT Staff Leave a Comment

The importance of social networking has always been a part of high school. Recent generations have turned to the internet and sites like Facebook and MySpace to accomplish this task. One of the many problems associated with online social networking for teenagers is that of public exclusion. Thanks to these types of sites, it is easier then ever to share the everyday tasks of one’s life; teenagers will post pictures from outings regardless of the impact those posts may have on friends not included in the event. [Read more…] about Social Networking: In Person

Filed Under: Communication, Entertainment

Controversy Surrounds “Bully” Movie

Last updated on January 11, 2017 by TT Staff 5 Comments

Should I let my child see “Bully”?

The March 2012 movie titled “Bully” is currently awash in a sea of controversy. The movie details the lives of several American children who are faced with cruel bullying on a regular basis, and it documents the harm that bullying can cause to the delicate emotional health of children and teens. It sends a powerful message, one that is sure to have an impact on teens and parents everywhere.

So what’s the problem?

Well, the problem is, the movie received an R rating* (initially, see April 6 update below) from the Motion Picture Association of America (MPAA). This rating would have meant that the movie would be off limits to unaccompanied children and teens, meaning the movie’s message will be inaccessible to those who need to hear it the most.

An R rating also means that parents who aren’t familiar with the movie would likely forbid their children from seeing the film (based on the rating alone) without understanding that they are depriving their children of an important message.

Furthermore, many areas have rules prohibiting teachers from screening R-rated movies in the classroom, so this rating would have also prevented schools- arguably the place where most bullying takes place- from showing the film.

As a result, the film’s distributor ultimately decided to release the film without a rating. This raised a few new problems, however, as unrated films are often associated with the dreaded NC-17 rating reserved for adult films (usually pornography). Most movie theaters nationwide therefore decline to show movies that are unrated. But please understand that this movie is not pornography, and despite the R rating, it is also not a film meant for adults alone.

Why did the film get such a harsh rating?

The reason that “Bully” received and R rating is that the film contains some crude language. Specifically, there are some scenes (not many, but some) where young people are shown using the “F word.” While no parent wants their child exposed to such harsh language, it is important to look past the language itself and see what it represents.

Remember, when the film’s distributors received the R rating, they had the option of editing or removing the controversial language. This would have lessened the severity of the rating, and as a result, the movie would have been available to a much wider audience, thus increasing profits.

But here’s the thing: The distributors didn’t care about profits so much as they cared about the film’s important message. This message, they argue, needs to be made available to children and teens in as pure a form as possible, and sanitizing the language serves to strip the film of some of its meaning. Bullying is harsh, and the language of bullying is equally so.

The language is not ideal, and no parent wants to expose their child to dirty words. But most children, whether we like to admit it or not, are exposed to this type of language on almost a daily basis. And some of those children, like the ones portrayed in this movie, are exposed to this language as the victims of bullying.

That’s exactly the point this movie is trying to make, that although bullying is an uncomfortable topic, it is intolerable and must be addressed. As a parent, it is important to remember that this type of language is not being thrown around without purpose: It is coming from children, and it is directed at other children, often the victims of bullying.

Only you know your child, of course. But if your son or daughter is of reasonable age and you prohibit them from seeing this movie to shelter them from the occasional curse word, you could be doing them a grave disservice.

*April 6, 2012 update: According to the Weinstein Company website (produced the film), the MPAA has lowered the R rating to PG-13 without the director, Lee Hirsch, having to edit a controversial but plot crucial scene that involves a boy being bullied on a bus. This is a key victory for parents, educators and victims of bullying.

Filed Under: Behavior & Emotions, Entertainment, Family

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