Has your teen daughter read or seen Fifty Shades of Grey? Have you? If not, have either of you wanted to? Besides curiosity and wanting to be in-the-know about the popular novel and box office sensation, why do you have that desire? Maybe you don’t even know. Maybe all you’ve told yourself or your daughter is “no.” If you’re not sure, we hope to convince you that that is the right choice. Either way, we hope you’ll dig a little deeper and realize more fully the deeper issues lurking in our hearts, allowing you to appreciate God’s grace a little more.
You don’t want to make it your favorite book or movie, but you’d like to at least have a first-hand opinion about it. Maybe you want to see it for yourself, just once, to make an informed decision. Those who counsel people with disturbed minds say it isn’t worth it, and God’s Word says there’s wisdom in “the multitude of counselors” (Proverbs 15:22).
A secular psychiatrist makes an open letter to young people available, begging them not to see the film. Why? She writes to them directly: “I don’t want you to suffer like the people I see in my office, so I’m warning you about a new movie called Fifty Shades of Grey. Even if you don’t see the film, its message is seeping into our culture, and could plant some dangerous ideas in your head. Be prepared.”
In another segment, the same psychiatrist warns of a major deception inherent in the story: “Fifty Shades of Grey is being released for Valentine’s Day, so you’ll think it’s a romance. Don’t fall for it. The movie is actually about a sick, dangerous relationship filled with physical and emotional abuse.” (She also offers a “survival guide” to help parents discuss the issue of BDSM that the novel and movie have helped gain acceptance in mainstream entertainment. Even if your kids don’t read or see it, they will be exposed, and although from a secular perspective, she does offer some helpful ideas.)
There’s no mistaking the fact of what this popular book and movie can do. Rachel Coyle writes, “The book Fifty Shades of Grey is pornography for the mind’s eye as women conjure up sexual thoughts and images while reading. The movie is pornography for the physical eye, no imagination required.”
How is it dangerous? Coyle explains a common scenario for those addicted to pornography: “You may be dipping your toes into the pool of pornography through reading erotic literature or viewing images (like this movie), but you never know when pornography will wrap its chains around you and imprison your mind. A ‘dip’ leads to a wade, and then the current draws you deeper in, deeper down, until you find yourself drowning in it.”
Be sure to look at Part 2: “What Fifty Shades Says and Satisfies.”
Image credits: Top © Sergey Nivens/Fotolia
Have you talked to your kids about sex? Maybe you have, but not in so many words. I’ve heard sermons about “going over the edge,” “knowing someone intimately,” and even “pleasuring one another.” Whenever the “s-word” comes up, adults tend to blush. Kids, not so much. Whether you’re ignoring the topic altogether or simply using euphemisms, you’re sending a message to your teen, and it might be one that’s far from the one you want to send.
We might want to argue that there’s a place and time to discuss such a sensitive topic, and I completely agree! However, waiting until your son or daughter is 16 is way too late, in our culture, and according to their development; between the ages of 8 and 12, you need to 
If discussing that makes you feel uncomfortable, that’s fine — as long as you don’t let your own discomfort get in the way of your communicating important truths to your kids. You probably didn’t enjoy changing diapers or helping with math homework, but you did it anyway. Parenting has never been about your staying within your comfort zone, has it?
There is a disturbing trend within the American teenage population of rape victim blame and bullying. The ability of a rape victim, male or female, to overcome the trauma they have suffered rests in their openness about the crime. Reporting rape is the single most influential way to bring the rapist to justice and to start the healing process. The very real threat of victim blame and bullying among teenagers keeps these victims from saying even one word about the traumas they have experienced. Keeping silent is often easier than enduring the ridicule of peers, or worse, the disbelief and judgment of parents and other trusted adults.