• Skip to primary navigation
  • Skip to main content
  • Skip to primary sidebar

Troubled Teens

  • Home
  • Submit Questions
  • Contact Us
  • Sitemap
    • Disclaimer
    • Privacy Policy

Is Modesty Worth the Fight? (Part 2)

Last updated on March 31, 2017 by TT Staff Leave a Comment

putting on lipstick at the mirrorInstead of keeping parents from addressing modesty with teens (see Part 1), the fact that there are more important issues in life can actually help motivate such conversations.

Appearance Can Become an Idol

While some types of modesty training could potentially increase the propensity for obsessing about the outward appearance, spiritually motivated biblical teaching centers around the principle that we shouldn’t be focused on the outward at all.

Whether a person’s tendency is to wear clothing that draws attention, clothing that reveals, clothing that fits in with the latest trends, or simply clothing that matches perfectly, we veer from God’s purpose when we focus on our clothing more than on our character. Whether it’s to please the fashionista within or gain attention or approval from others, a focus on externals robs us of valuable time and energy (and usually finances) that could more wisely be invested in eternal things (Matthew 6:21).

happy familyHeart Attitude Is Significant

The fact that outward appearance is less significant than the heart should not cause us to ignore the images we project — or how our children are forming theirs. While only God can truly see our hearts, the fact remains that our appearance does say something about what’s in our hearts (1 Samuel 16:7). One author says it this way: “What we choose to wear still tells others who we are and whom we love. . . .  Out of the abundance of the heart, our clothing speaks.”

That loose paraphrase of Luke 6:45 gets at the crux of the matter: If someone is dressing to get attention — or if they are spending an inordinate amount of time and energy on outward appearance — there are priorities out of kilter that need to be addressed.

Teenage Needs Require Wise Responses

teen girl grinningAs parents, we can thank God for opportunities to see when our children’s hearts need counsel; at the same time, we cannot assume that we know exactly what the heart problem is. For instance, people who dress in sensually revealing ways may be indicating their sexual desire, or they may simply be motivated by a desire to fit in, look attractive, or get the attention they crave.

We may need to probe to find out exactly what problem lies at the root of immodest dress, but we would be amiss as parents to ignore such an obvious indication of spiritual need. As we teach our teens to put off the sensual, narcissistic tendencies of the flesh, we need to help them replace those things with others-focused choices that honor God (Philippians 2:3; 1 Timothy 2:9, 10).

While it can be good and helpful to think through specific applications of the biblical principle of modesty, God’s Word does not lay out exact standards of dress. We need to evaluate what message specific clothing sends within our culture and individual subcultures. However and wherever we decide to “draw the line,” the most important aspect of addressing the topic of modesty is that we realize it’s about much more than what people do or do not see: It is a matter of the heart.

Filed Under: Behavior & Emotions, Parenting

Reader Interactions

Leave a Reply Cancel reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Primary Sidebar

Struggling with Your Teen?

Have a question about something you're facing with your teenage son or daughter? Ask us! Just click here and share your question.

Boarding School Reviews

Get your boarding school or youth residential treatment program reviewed here. Looking for a marketing agency? Contact us.

Popular Posts

  • Causes of Sexual Promiscuity in Teens
  • Controversy Surrounds "Bully" Movie
  • The Risks of Sexual Promiscuity in Teens
  • Signs and Symptoms of Huffing
  • Teens and Rape Victim Blame

Recent Articles

  • Teen Shoplifting
  • Is Scripture Irrelevant to Contemporary Teens?
  • Fostering Academic Success at Home: Structuring Study Schedules and Spaces, Part 2
  • Underage Drinking: More of a Problem Than You May Think
  • Communication Overload
  • Combating Teen Obesity
  • What Technology Reveals About Today’s Teens, Part 2
  • What’s Your Excuse? Don’t Pretend, Be Real
  • Why “Fifty Shades” Is Dangerous (For You and Your Teen)
  • Parents: Look to Hollywood Movies for Parenting Tips

Reader Feedback

  • Tara on Causes of Sexual Promiscuity in Teens
  • TNH on Causes of Sexual Promiscuity in Teens
  • Sharaaz Khan on Causes of Sexual Promiscuity in Teens
  • Dionne Duarte on Causes of Sexual Promiscuity in Teens
  • Clarice A. on Teen Bedwetting
  • Margaret Campbell on Causes of Sexual Promiscuity in Teens
  • Elizabeth on The Sexting Problem
  • Lisa Arquette on Handling Hard Questions: Having Empathy for the Ache
  • L. C. H. on 3 Reminders for Dealing with Rebellious Teens
  • Peter D'Angelo on Which Kids Stay in the Church?

Copyright © 2023 TroubledTeens.biz · All Rights Reserved