• Skip to primary navigation
  • Skip to main content
  • Skip to primary sidebar

Troubled Teens

  • Home
  • Submit Questions
  • Contact Us
  • Sitemap
    • Disclaimer
    • Privacy Policy

Freedom from Shame, Part 1

Last updated on April 3, 2015 by TT Staff Leave a Comment

Our consciences need to be instructed by the Word of God. For the believer who has trusted Christ as his sin substitute and repented of sin, the guilt of sin has been removed, once for all (Romans 6:23, 8:1). If a person is guilty of sin, repentance is the answer. But if someone isn’t truly guilty or has repented but doesn’t “feel” forgiven for confessed sins, more wisdom is needed in helping. Thankfully, God is not stingy about giving wisdom when we ask Him for it (James 1:5, 6).

False Expectations and Failed Attempts

The perfectionist and legalist both expect to feel joyful and reap peace through their efforts, but when they don’t, they are confused. Meeting man-made standards was never the stipulation for God’s peace, anyway, but we are often deceived. Disillusionment results. They often feel as if God is out to punish them, and they see life’s difficulties as harsh inflictions from a cruel master, rather than the natural reaping patterns (at times), all part of the gracious training and restoring rod of a Good Shepherd (James 1:2, 3; Hebrews 12:6; Psalm 23).

While God’s Word teaches that the way of the transgressor is hard (Proverbs 13:15), the way of the legalistic perfectionist is harder still. Even though their sin is not intentional, it is still rooted in belief contrary to God’s Word and reaps difficulty. The despair they suffer is the natural result of misplaced trust (Galatians 6:7). While legalism is really a man-made yoke, it seems like a God-made yoke, so a person’s view of God and relationship with God are strongly affected.

Just like the victim of sexual abuse who attempts to remove feelings of defilement by showering, sometimes frustrated perfectionists cope by creating a sort of neutralizing ritual or personal penance. Other times, people feeling shame retreat from society and into their own analysis over their problems or dive into all kinds of addictive behaviors.

Lasting Hope and Help

The answer for misplaced shame is not to meet the qualifications of any given man-made religion or cleaning regimen. It isn’t to hide. It isn’t to try to push past the pain or to attempt to numb or distract yourself. It isn’t to deceive yourself into thinking you’re the best thing ever or to try to overcompensate for your deficiencies by looking good or working harder or even serving others. So what is it?

It’s to look into the perfect law of liberty — and to learn to enjoy the freedom that it brings (James 1:25)! It’s to be instructed by God’s Word and to learn to trust it for the answers of life (2 Timothy 3:16). It’s to delight in His law and replace your own false ideas with His true and holy ones (Psalm 19:7-14, 2 Corinthians 10:5).

It’s to surrender your own ideas and let His thoughts permeate your own (Psalm 16:7, 8). It’s to see the true God in all His holiness and love and grow in grace, as a response to that greater vision (Psalm 16: Ephesians 2:4, 5). The natural result will be spiritual fruit such as peace, joy, and hope! (Galatians 5:22, 23).

Continue reading with Part 2.

Filed Under: For Parents of Teens, Promoted

Reader Interactions

Leave a Reply Cancel reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Primary Sidebar

Struggling with Your Teen?

Have a question about something you're facing with your teenage son or daughter? Ask us! Just click here and share your question.

Boarding School Reviews

Get your boarding school or youth residential treatment program reviewed here. Looking for a marketing agency? Contact us.

Popular Posts

  • Causes of Sexual Promiscuity in Teens
  • Controversy Surrounds "Bully" Movie
  • The Risks of Sexual Promiscuity in Teens
  • Signs and Symptoms of Huffing
  • Teens and Rape Victim Blame

Recent Articles

  • Teen Shoplifting
  • Is Scripture Irrelevant to Contemporary Teens?
  • Fostering Academic Success at Home: Structuring Study Schedules and Spaces, Part 2
  • Underage Drinking: More of a Problem Than You May Think
  • Communication Overload
  • Combating Teen Obesity
  • What Technology Reveals About Today’s Teens, Part 2
  • What’s Your Excuse? Don’t Pretend, Be Real
  • Why “Fifty Shades” Is Dangerous (For You and Your Teen)
  • Parents: Look to Hollywood Movies for Parenting Tips

Reader Feedback

  • Tara on Causes of Sexual Promiscuity in Teens
  • TNH on Causes of Sexual Promiscuity in Teens
  • Sharaaz Khan on Causes of Sexual Promiscuity in Teens
  • Dionne Duarte on Causes of Sexual Promiscuity in Teens
  • Clarice A. on Teen Bedwetting
  • Margaret Campbell on Causes of Sexual Promiscuity in Teens
  • Elizabeth on The Sexting Problem
  • Lisa Arquette on Handling Hard Questions: Having Empathy for the Ache
  • L. C. H. on 3 Reminders for Dealing with Rebellious Teens
  • Peter D'Angelo on Which Kids Stay in the Church?

Copyright © 2021 TroubledTeens.biz · All Rights Reserved